Alive and Kicking!

A good friend of mine is from a place close to Bihar and takes great pleasure in poking whatever fun he can manage to poke at his worthy neighbours. His work in the rural development sector led him to be posted in a tiny village in Bihar once and he relishes the fact that that stay gives him lots to talk about still.

The other day he told me the story of the Bihari rustic and the funnel. Apparently early, every morning the Bihari villager trots off in all earnestness to the grazing field with a funnel in his hand. Now since we live in a country quite free in it's expression of excretary functions, what with the line of persons along the train tracks eulogized by Mr Naipaul, the "Do not make piss here" signs so generously scattered and the ignorers of the sign even more so, one generally develops a healthy attitude towards nature's functions. This set my imagination racing to how exactly the funnel could serve a purpose.But what I heard was not what I imagined, allow me to share with you the funnel function.

He says that these men wait for the cows nearby to pass through what has been ably digested by their four stomachs in a glorious drop to the ground. As soon as this steaming cake falls to the ground they position their funnels right over it and inhale deeply. The villager unable to afford costlier means has discovered a unique way of getting high, the fresh dung has enough methane to give him a kick which sets him off happily to work.

I personally am of the opinion that if he inhaled the cow's behind itself, he would get a better kick.